Entries from March 2006 ↓

Did I mention I got a new computer this week?

The laptop is officially dead, but Apple is expected to announce new iBooks in April, so I’ll wait to see what they look like before I try to replace it.

Did we mention we hate Duke?

The suckers lost tonight, to LSU. The over-rated team from the over-rated conference that didn’t really deserve to be a Number 1 seed, faced real competition and came up short. Good for ‘em.

Add this thought to the issues facing the over 50 LGBT population: Many do not feel comfortable coming out to their doctors or health care providers. Of those who do, discrimination is often the result.

A study by the McGill School of Social Work in Montreal, Canada on health care and treatment for lesbian and gay seniors living in Montreal, Vancouver and Halifax, found that many seniors would not come out to their doctors unless asked directly and that others reported mistreatment if their healthcare providers even suspected their sexual orientation.

One Vancouver senior who was quoted in the study said that she was ignored when she asked for help after one nurse had identified her as a lesbian from a newspaper article.

“From then on, I couldn’t get anyone to help me out of bed,” the woman told researchers.

In another shocking example, a gay senior citizen told researchers that he had a home care worker who, when he found out the man was gay, offered to help “save me from this blasphemous…thing.”

Researchers say that seniors are especially prone to mistreatment because they’re less likely to feel empowered enough to speak up for themselves, due to long-standing generational and societal fears and that when you mix people who have prejudice with people who have vulnerabilities, you often get abuse.

Not coming out to medical professionals is not limited to the elderly. A recent GayHealth.com survey says that more than 40 percent ‘rarely’ or ‘never’ even discuss their sexuality with their doctors. Another GayHealth.com survey reports that one-third had not ‘come out’ to their healthcare provider at all.

But since seniors very often have acute health care needs, to not feel comfortable sharing aspects of their lives which may have an impact on their physical or mental state could have profound negative ramifications.

Changing how the medical profession, home health care providers and nursing homes treat lesbian and gay seniors will require a concerted effort of education and awareness by those who are young and energetic enough to take up the cause. Like other issues, it may reap benefits now and in the future.

Nine months have now passed since the death of the extraordinarily talented R&B singer Luther Vandross, and with this passage of time has come renewed interest in his private life. Out Magazine has published an article with interviews with those who knew the fiercely private balladeer. They confirm what most of us (who weren’t wearing blinders) already knew; Vandross was gay, but also never had much of a sex life and was uncomfortable talking about his sexuality with anyone other than very close friends.

No doubt this report will rekindle the hot discussion about whether a celebrity risks losing their stardom by coming out and whether it’s anyone’s business. Frankly, I think living life in the closet is an awful price to pay for stardom and that those performers who are out get to maintain their sanity and self-esteem, which is far more valuable than fame in the long run. I am also bothered by the notion that secrecy must be expected of gays and lesbians when straight folks get to be so constantly obvious about their’s. This interesting piece on Rashid’s blog addresses that point better than I can.

Nobody could or should live Luther’s life for him, but one must ask the question, what if he had chosen to be honest when asked the direct question, “Are you gay” (and he was on several occasions, but always denied it or attempted to deflect)? Since he and so many other of our performers are infinitely more talented and interesting than their straight counterparts, what might that have added to the entire debate over gay rights, if we could have pointed out that the best and brightest singers, actors, writers, producers, managers, publicists, etc., etc., etc. are some of us? What might that have done to encourage and inspire that gay youth, also talented but wondering if s/he can succeed and be open and honest about his/her life, if s/he could have pointed to Luther and said, “He did it. So can I.”

In my professional work, I provide training and technical assistance to staff of non-profit social service agencies in and around the New York metropolitan area, many of whom are in some way involved in HIV/AIDS services and supportive housing issues. They may also be involved in a plethora of related concerns.

This week a co-worker and I delivered an excellent and well-received two-part training on how to be a more effective public speaker. About 13 people from various agencies attended, including two gentlemen from an organization representing Black LGBT folks 50 and over. As a component of our training, participants were required to deliver a five minute presentation on a topic of their own choosing. They both chose topics related to being Black and gay and over 50.

While there were many things I already knew about the subject matter, what came through loud and clear was the sense of isolation and loss of community that many of our folks feel when they reach their senior years. Despite efforts by their organization and others around the city, social, educational and recreational events get small turnouts and they are at wits end trying to find ways to reach this population. However, everyone believes it is larger than the popular perception. For reasons unknown, older Black gay folks are choosing to stay home rather than venture out.

However, in a community that places so much emphasis on youth and beauty, projecting the notion that even 30 is old and undesirable, should it surprise anyone that those over 50 find few reasons to engage? They are no doubt asking, “What’s out there for them?” I know 20-somethings who are tired of the limited offerings of bars and clubs. Since even those don’t cater to seniors, I can only imagine the disinterest in searching for social alternatives grows exponentially with each passing decade.

Yet, without support networks of family or friends, are our elders destined to live out their remaining years alone? What responsibility does the younger Black LGBT community have to involve itself and seek solutions here? Who (if anyone) is studying the very specific needs and concerns of Black LGBT seniors? Assuming we will all grow old one day, are there not benefits to be derived for seniors now and ourselves in the future?