Raw Emotions

I have not written anything about Hurricane Katrina and its devastating effects on Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama, first, because I wasn�t sure what I could possibly add to what has already been written by other bloggers and media outlets. I�m not down there and have no firsthand accounts to share, nothing that you can�t read elsewhere.

But I also haven�t shared my thoughts because it has taken me this long to compose myself and not become overly emotional. I am having difficulty forming coherent thoughts–I make no promises of coherence with this entry–and find myself riding a wave of emotions. Watching or reading the news moves me just to the brink of tears and I have to leave it alone or I just won�t be able to function.

I can�t even begin to wrap my brain around what the people suffering through this are living with now. There has been nothing in my life to prepare me. I live in New York City and was a witness to the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. I saw the collapse of the north tower of the World Trade Center with my own eyes standing in the intersection at Sixth Avenue and 26th Street. That memory is forever etched on my brain.

But that was a man-made disaster; an act of war. This was Mother Nature. The earth doing what it does naturally, rotating on its axis, causing clouds to form, weather patterns to emerge, bringing rain, high winds, flooding of rivers and lakes and ultimately the loss of property and lives. We may have been able to prevent the flooding but we couldn�t have prevented the storm.

Louisiana is my maternal ancestral home. In the late 1800�s-early 1900�s, Jake and Peggy Nero raised eight kids in Clinton, Louisiana. Their third child was my mother�s father, who later married and raised her and my uncle and aunt in New Orleans. While everyone in our branch of the family now lives in other parts of the country, we have numerous relatives from the other branches who still call Louisiana home. We�ve heard about some and know they are safe, but there are many others about whom we�ve heard nothing.

Having spent every winter of my life in the northeast, I�ve often been asked by people from warmer climates, �How do you all deal with the snow?� Honey, snow is nothing. You shovel it and you keep stepping. I don�t understand how people deal with the hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, mudslides, forest fires, and earthquakes that hit the rest of the country.

I don�t understand how the people who have now lost everything will rebuild. How do you manage simple things, like proving who you are? How many personal documents of identification–driver�s licenses, insurance, banking, medical or school records–have been lost for the thousands of people affected? Hard to answer for everyone, I�m sure, but harder still for those who had little to begin with.

September 1st was when the eagle was supposed to fly for those on public assistance. They were already underwater by then. How long before they receive any regular assistance again?

What will be the long-term psychological effects of this catastrophe on those who are going through it? I know I�m not over 9/11 and I wasn�t even directly affected. Years from now will we see people acting out their sense of despair, anger or helplessness in personally damaging or antisocial ways?

My emotions run to anger when I think of who is in the White House. I have absolutely no confidence in George Bush�s ability to effectively lead us out of this crisis. The billions being spent on his stupid, unnecessary war in Iraq is a major part of the current problem. The war has siphoned away billions of dollars needed to support domestic programs, like the improvement of levees around New Orleans. His slow response on Sept. 11 proved he is clueless in situations like this. I am certain he won�t disappoint us here either.

I�m further angered by the doom sayers who are using this as some sort of sign of �God�s wrath.� I don�t believe in an angry, vengeful God. I believe in a God who wants us to love and support one another unconditionally. I think if there is any lesson to be learned here, it is that we are all connected. One human race, dependent on each other, not separate races, nations and people separated by artificial boundaries. I think these natural disasters are to remind us to stop the greedy, selfish pursuit of material goods, the wars and the killing, especially in the name of God, and start helping each other live better and fuller lives.

I am frustrated because watching all of the news accounts makes me feel helpless. I want to do something. I want to help somehow. Maybe all I can do is donate money or old clothes, but I want to do more.

I needed to clear my head of the jumble of thoughts running around inside. Even though most of them weren�t very clear, I thank you for reading.

Here are some places where you can donate:

American Red Cross

A list of People of Color-led Charitable Organizations

Hurricane Housing sponsored by MoveOn.org

Network for Good

Organized labor�s response at AFL-CIO

Over 5000 musicians have chosen to donate ALL money from the
sale of their CD *directly* to the Red Cross disaster relief fund at CDBaby.com.