Baseball Elects 18 to the Hall of Fame
The Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY announced the selection of 18 former players and executives, including 17 from the Negro Leagues and pre-Negro League era, as this year’s class of inductees. Included in the group is the Hall’s first female inductee, Effa Manley, a White woman who passed as Black, and who along with Black husband Abe, owned the Newark Eagles franchise in the Negro Leagues.
This is the largest group of inductees in any single year, and also includes relief pitcher Bruce Sutter of the St. Louis Cardinals.
Baseball Hall of Fame Elects First Woman (ABC News)
Negro Leaguers called to Hall (Philadelphia Daily News)
Baseball Hall of Fame Inductees (Kansas City Star)
The Kid’s in the Hall (Bejata.com)
I Blame Bush
And why not?
We’re in a costly, protracted, unnecessary war in Iraq that is siphoning off money that should be used to maintain necessary domestic programs by diverting our tax dollars right into the pockets of already rich defense contractors while also destroying any form of normal life in that country .
As a further result, our ability to deploy National Guard troops in response to natural disasters here at home has now been jeopardized.
And former FEMA Director, Michael Brown, isn’t going to take all the blame for the screw-up after Hurricane Katrina. He too says, Bush and his henchmen dropped the ball.
Clinton gets a blowjob from an intern and Republicans want him impeached. Bush fucks over the whole world and nobody is doing anything about it. What’s wrong with this picture?
Short Takes on Black Folks and HIV/AIDS
Despite all of the reasons why black gay men are beaten down, beaten up, discriminated against and blamed for the spread of HIV among African Americans, the main perpetrator is, in fact, black gay men ourselves. That’s the opinion of AIDS advocate and journalist Keith Green. It's time for the black gay community to stop blaming everyone else for its plight, he says, and to start standing up for itself.
A group of black, gay community leaders, businessmen and activists joined together in the Windy City to publicly launch the Chicago Black Gay Men's Caucus, one of a small but slowly growing series of efforts among black, gay men in the United States to mobilize in the fight against HIV. The group's official launch included an unveiling of its first HIV prevention effort, a music video and public service announcement encouraging men to learn their HIV status.
Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child talks about playing an HIV-positive character on UPN’s Half & Half.
African-American HIV/AIDS Resource Center at The Body
Family Matters
Today would have been my father’s 85th birthday. That he lived to see 84 years is a feat in itself and I am happy for all the time we had together. I think of him everyday and carry his picture with me. Happy birthday, Dad.
The hospice facility that he was about to enter just before he passed has offered bereavement counseling to our family for up to 13 months. They are located back home and thus not easily accessible to me, although they do offer telephone counseling services. I honestly don’t believe that I am in need of this assistance, although it is appreciated. Because of his slow, but steady decline over the years due to the Alzheimer’s, a lot of the grieving happened before he died. I watched him leave us over the past 5 years or so. The actual passing brought a sense of relief to a large degree.
But I do acknowledge I have many other unaddressed and unresolved personal issues that were impacted by his passing. Pre-existing feelings of isolation and loneliness, heightened awareness of my own mortality and the desire to still achieve many things while the clock is ticking, midlife-related emotional and sexual needs and anxieties, were all exacerbated. Consequently, I have finally decided to seek out professional assistance to deal with these and any other residual issues that may surface. I can’t promise you I’ll share any details of those sessions in this space, but I will continue to talk about things going on in my life.
This day also comes with the news last weekend that my uncle, my father’s sole surviving sibling and immediate family member, is also suffering from dementia and was recently put in a nursing home in Texas. His decline is following familiar patterns.
Positive news was received last night about my mother, who underwent knee replacement surgery this past Monday. Recovery is going realistically well, unlike the somewhat overly optimistic objectives she had set for herself. My brothers and I are all taking a week off to go up to help out. One brother has been there this week, my week starts tomorrow, and others will take following weeks.
That period when the children become caretakers to the parents has been in effect for some time now and is an accepted fact of life. But it doesn’t make things any easier.
State of the Artists
It is no secret New York is a tough place to live. The high cost of everything makes it particularly hard on those just barely eeking out a living. New York also prides itself on being the cultural capital of the country (if not the world), but those who create that culture are often the ones finding it hardest to make ends meet.
That reality was the finding of a new study from the Freelancers Union, a group organized to advocate for benefits for this city’s self-employed workforce. While arts organizations contributed some $14.5 billion to the local economy as recently as 2000, individual artists themselves typically live without health insurance, unemployment benefits or retirement plans. Many are thinking of leaving.
Among the findings:
• More than 40 percent made less than $35,000 last year.• 39 percent experienced a significant gap in health insurance coverage.
• 75 percent avoided seeking medical care when uninsured.
• They are highly educated: 85 percent have a college degree.
• They are politically engaged: 92 percent are registered voters.
The Freelancers Union has called on the city to create a directory to help independent workers access resources and set aside funds for professional associations or unions to develop programs for them such as “portable benefit models” that tie traditional benefits to individuals as they job-hop, rather than to employers. Other ideas include shared housing equity for artists in joint-living workspaces. The concept is for them to pick a space where they want to live, and then a fund would assist in obtaining a mortgage and providing some sort of guarantee or allow for low-interest rates.
Who are the young Black actors to watch? Moviefone offers up a highly subjective list of young Black movie stars (best viewed in browsers other than Internet Explorer) we should keep our eyes on. I’m always suspicious of such lists, figuring some PR guy had a hand in it somewhere or that they went for name recognition over real acting talent, but there are one or two names I can accept. The rest…I’ll wait to be impressed. Take a look at their list and tell me who you think belongs or not.
The long, long, list...
I've been waiting for an article just like this.
And this website takes it even further.
We need more of this and more discussion and more public outrage until we get them out of the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the media, state houses and city halls.
They are evil and they are lining their own pockets while the rest of us struggle.
The Kid’s In The Hall
It may never be my good luck to become rich, but I can honestly say I’ve done some interesting and varied things in my life of which I am quite proud. Saturday I added another accomplishment.
First the back story. As some of you know, at one point in my life I was a full-time starving actor and voiceover announcer. For about 11 years I derived almost my entire living from that, while living in upstate New York. I continue to act today, but on a part-time basis when the spirit hits me.
Ironically, my career upstate was far more successful than it has ever been here in NYC. There I was a big fish in a small pond, much sought after for voiceover work in commercials and industrials, in addition to doing theatre and on-camera commercial work. I got most of my work without auditioning. Here, I’m just one in about 15,000 out of work actors. Take a number and get in line. (Consequently, I hold a full-time non-show biz job, with salary and benefits.)
Back in 1997, it was my good fortune to get hired by the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown, NY to narrate several segments of a then new exhibit they were installing, Pride and Passion, about the Negro Leagues. They liked my work and since that year was also the 50th Anniversary of Jackie Robinson’s breaking Major League Baseball’s color barrier, they asked me to narrate the special commemorative exhibit on Robinson as well as the permanent installation on his life. They have told me his widow Rachel Robinson is quite pleased with it and has used it during Jackie Robinson Foundation events.
Around 2001, after I had moved to New York, they called me again. The Hall of Fame and museums in 10 major cities were combining their efforts on a touring exhibit on baseball’s impact on the nation, called Baseball As America. I narrated several segments of that show, which is now on its final stop, in Detroit.
So I was pleasantly surprised when I got an email a few weeks ago from my contact at the museum inquiring about my availability to do some more work. This year (this week in fact) new inductees will be announced for the Negro League section of the Hall, with additional players from that era as well as Black players who predate the formation of the league under consideration.
Last Saturday, I traveled back upstate and added my dulcet tones to revised pieces for Pride and Passion as well as new segments for all of the 39 possible inductees. While there, they also asked me to narrate the feature on Bruce Sutter, a more contemporary player who goes into the Hall this year as well.
It is quite a personal honor to be associated with this bit of history, albeit peripherally. Many of these players I heard about from my father growing up, or read about in books, or in many cases had never heard of before. Reading their bios helped to educate me and I in turn help to educate future museum visitors who will view these exhibits.
The National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum is, in my opinion, one of America’s great museums. It is just a fun place to tour, even if you only know a little bit about the game itself. In April there will be a ceremony for the Negro League inductees and I may get back up there to see it first hand.
Dick Cheney, Before He Dicks Us All
The White House now considers the whole shooting accident a closed case. Nothing to see here folks, let’s move it along.
Well not so fast. That the shooting was an accident, I’m willing to buy. But that doesn’t answer the question of why it took so long to report this to police and the media, and why when it was finally reported to media, it didn’t come from the Vice President himself or at least his office. He is after all the second highest elected official in these here United States.
Could it be ole Dead-Eye Dick was shooting off more than his shotgun down there in Texas? And why wasn’t Mrs. Cheney along for the trip? Others are also speculating that the delay was so that certain witnesses of the female persuasion could be whisked away before anyone caught wind.
Now, if I do recall, when a certain former President William Jefferson Clinton had a little dalliance of his own with an intern, the Grand Old Party of hypocrites, liars, thieves, racists, sexists, homophobes and millionaire businessmen damn near wanted to impeach him for the offense. Seems like kids play compared to buckshot in the face and a chickie-poo on the side, eh?
Oh, how these bastards do irk me.
Art for Art’s Sake
Last week, I had the pleasure of seeing the dance wizardry of the Evidence Dance Company, under the superb direction of founder/choreographer Ronald K. Brown. In this, their 20th anniversary season, they appeared at the Joyce Theater here in NYC (a wonderful space to watch dance) from February 7 – 12, performing work from their repertoire and debuting a new piece Order My Steps. An interesting dance about life’s journey and the pitfalls that often make up the struggle, it was set not just to music, but to the poetry of Chad Boseman, a student at Howard University Brown met during a residency there.
One of my favorite companies, Brown features a small corps of extremely talented dancers adept at ballet, modern and traditional African dance.
Another dance company I am hoping to get to see, the Bill T. Jones/Arnie Zane Dance Company, will be appearing next week at the Skirball Center at New York University. Another Evening: I Bow Down is scheduled for Tuesday, Feb. 21, Thursday, Feb. 23 and Saturday, Feb. 25, with a post dance discussion on the 23rd.
Save the date! This year’s Harlem Book Fair is Saturday, July 22, 2006. The fair’s sponsors, QBR: The Black Book Review, in addition to unveiling a new website design on March 1, is holding “A Celebration of Black Writing” to recognize the individuals who have caused Black books to flourish over the past decade. They will celebrate the authors who have written our stories and the organizations that have successfully contributed to the growth of Black writing and publishing. The event takes place Thursday, February 23, 6:00-8:30 pm at Nubian Heritage, 2037 Fifth Avenue @ 126th Street. It’s free and open to the public, RSVP@qbr.com.
One Year Later
Today’s New York Times updates us on the savage death and dismemberment of Rashawn Brazell, which occurred almost a year ago. To date, no one has been caught or charged with his murder. His memory lives on through the efforts of others.
BREAKING NEWS: Cheney Shoots, Injures Man While Hunting
UPDATED: 3:59 pm EST February 12, 2006
WASHINGTON -- Vice President Dick Cheney's spokeswoman said Cheney accidentally shot and injured a man during a hunting trip in Texas.
The accident happened at the Armstrong Ranch in south Texas. The property's owner said the 78-year-old victim is "alert and doing fine," after Cheney sprayed him with shotgun pellets while trying to shoot a bird.
Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president is with the victim and his wife at the hospital.
25 Inches!
That’s a lot, even for me. (Get your mind out of the gutter. I grew up in snow country.)
This is the view from my neighborhood. And the whole city has been affected.
Checking References
The blogs that I read on a daily basis are an interesting and varied lot. While I list many of them over on the right side of the screen (Fellow Travelers), there is an even longer list I subscribe to on my Bloglines.com account. Recent posts from fellow bloggers turned up some interesting commentaries to which I thought I’d direct you, if you haven’t already read them.
As “that day” draws closer, Afroerotik shares some personal knowledge and a list of key elements for a healthy relationship.
Kenyon has a call for submissions for a new journal of counter-cultural criticism, 100 Flowers.
Keith Boykin has an interesting item on why Civil Rights activist Julian Bond skipped the funeral this week for Coretta Scott King. Apparently some commenters are taking issue with that reason too.
With the UPN and WB networks planning a merger, what’s the future for Black television programming? Nova asks that question but also suggests we need to raise the bar a little higher.
Out gay and HIV-positive former pro football player Roy Simmons, who has told his life story in the book Out of Bounds, is charging the NFL kept him on the sidelines this past weekend by denying him access to the Super Bowl. Rod has that story.
Finally our intrepid explorer, Ms. World, talks regretfully about her experiences in India where for the first time in her travels she felt being a Black American female was an issue.
If You Believe in This Stuff
Capricorn Horoscope for the week of February 9, 2006
Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn! To begin our meditation on love, let's turn our attention to your appearance. I think you owe a huge debt of gratitude to the fact that you don't have the face and body of a dazzling supermodel or gorgeous hunk. The temptation to rely on your physical attractiveness at the expense of developing your character would be virtually irresistible. In the coming days, this fact will bring you a fresh batch of benefits, including a subtle breakthrough in your romantic life. Here's your quote of the week, from Katharine Hepburn: "It is the plain women who know about love. The beautiful women are too busy being fascinating."
From Free Will Astrology
Raising Awareness
Today is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, an occasion to educate more Black people in this country about the risk factors related to HIV transmission and ways to keep yourself safe. On the official website there are links to numerous organizations across the country that provide services at the local level. Get educated, get involved, get tested, get treated.
Next Thursday, February 16, one of New York City’s oldest supportive housing provider for people living with HIV/AIDS, is holding its 18th Annual “Open Your Heart” Auction. It is a celebrity filled, high visibility event with great auction items up for bid. Please support this worthwhile cause. You can buy tickets online.
The Bus Stops Here
In the end, it wasn’t the most exciting game nor the most technically proficient. Mistakes and turnovers occurred on both sides and at any given moment it seemed either team could win. It wasn’t the physical grudge match many, including Steelers linebacker Joey Porter, predicted either. If you’re looking for symbolism, just say the blue collars guys from the rust belt beat the yuppies from the land of Microsoft and Starbucks. But that would be stretching it a bit.
The Pittsburgh Steelers now have their fifth Super Bowl victory in six attempts. Running back and Detroit native Jerome Bettis finally has his championship ring and can retire a winner. Game MVP Hines Ward gets a new Cadillac Escalade.
The rest of us get to wait until July for training camps to open again and pass the time watching college basketball and Major League Baseball.
Reaction in Pittsburgh
Steelers Win – Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
From Steel Town to Motown – Yahoo Sports
Steeler Fans Celebrate – Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
Reaction in Seattle
Not This Year – Seattle Times
XL Loss – Seattle Post-Intelligencer
The Show Within the Show
Not So Super Commercials -- USA Today
Stones Lyrics Edited -- Billboard
Super Bowl Sunday
This is the day die-hard football fans have long awaited. It is also the day we dread.
The kickoff for Super Bowl XL (that’s 40, for those who don’t speak Roman) is just hours away and the champion of the 2005-2006 season will be known a few hours after that. The long season that began back in July with training camp for 32 NFL teams has come down to just two, the NFC Champion Seattle Seahawks (13-3, 2-0 postseason) versus the AFC Champion Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5, 3-0). But it is also the last meaningful game of the season (next week’s Pro Bowl simply doesn’t count at all) so when the winner emerges tonight, many of us will go into football withdrawal. Let’s hope then, tonight’s game is one to remember.
On paper, it may shape up to be just that. This is one of the hardest games for me to pick. I can make an argument for why both should win. First, defense wins football games, so the team that best stops the other team’s offense should come away with the Vince Lombardi trophy. Pittsburgh loves to play physical football. Linebacker Joey Porter has gone on record as saying his goal will be to force Seattle players out of the game. Safety Troy Polamalu is an aggressive defender who can force opposing quaterbacks into mistakes and capitalize on them. Witness his play against the Indianapolis Colts.
But the unheralded, lesser known Seahawks didn’t buy their way into this championship. While many of us on the east coast haven’t had a chance to see much of them, and frankly I can’t name a single defensive player, they completely shut down the Carolina Panthers who, like Pittsburgh, like to knock heads. And like Carolina, Pittsburgh has limited weapons on offense. They prefer the pass. Second year QB Ben Roethlisberger targets tight end Hines Ward and wide receiver Antwaan Randle El before thinking about the run. Seattle defends well against the pass and will try to force Pittsburgh into doing what it doesn’t do as well.
On the other side of the ball, Seattle has the best running back in the game today, Shaun Alexander and a pretty good QB themselves in 7 year pro Matt Hasselbeck, who’ll have Darrell Jackson and Joe Jurevicius as his primary targets.
Mike Holmgren gave up the General Manager position following the 2002 season to concentrate solely on head coaching and it has paid off. He’s looking to become the first coach to win two Super Bowls with two different teams (he coached the Green Bay Packers to the title in 1996). His counterpart in Pittsburgh, Bill Cowher, is still looking for his first Super Bowl win in his 14 years as a head coach.
The head and heart connection is at play here. My heart is with Pittsburgh. They are the more charismatic of the two teams, with more interesting “personalities.” This game is being played in the hometown of their future Hall of Famer Jerome Bettis and it would be a great story to see him get a ring as he leaves this game. But Seattle is like a lion hiding in the grass, waiting to attack. They are better than people give them credit and despite their quiet team demeanor, may come out and surprise the world.
I am 6-4 in my postseason picks thus far. My pick for Super Bowl XL is in bold:
Super Bowl XL
Sunday, Feb. 5
Detroit, Michigan
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Seattle Seahawks
6:00 p.m.
ABC
Sports Shorts
Former NY Giants linebacker Harry Carson finally got his due this week. The Pro Football Hall of Fame has selected him as one of six finalists to be inducted this year. Carson, a nine-time Pro Bowler who retired in 1988, was passed over for this honor six times previously, and at one time asked Hall voters to take his name out of nomination.
Inducted along with him were the late Reggie White, Troy Aikman, John Madden, Rayfield Wright, and Warren Moon who becomes the first Black quaterback inducted into the hall.
Friday night, some friends and I took in the 99th Millrose Games at Madison Square Garden. There was only one meet record set, a shot-put of 71 feet 5 inches by Reese Hoffa. That was a Garden and Millrose record and the best shot-put in the world this season.
The Millrose Games are full of delicious eye candy. The children represent at the high school, college and world class level, but apparently this event is still a well-kept secret to all but those of us who follow sports. That’s too bad, it’s a fun evening out. Perhaps one day someone in NYC will figure out what the folks in Philly did years ago, and create a weekend of activities to coincide with this major track event.
My European Cousins
This is too funny. A check of my Bloglines account showed a new entry for Bejata, but to my surprise, it wasn’t mine. There’s another blog with the same name. Luckily they aren’t in the U.S. or I might have to sue.
Frankly I don’t even know what country or language that is, I’m guessing somewhere in Scandinavia? If anybody knows, clue a brotha in.
Now, when I started this blog I came up with the name by taking the first two letters from each of my names and even created a meaning behind it:
bejata \bi-zhá-tuh\ n pl bejati \bi-zhá-tie\ bejatum \bi-zhá-tuhm (1960) 1 a : random thoughts, opinions, observations, comments b : a myriad collection of same 2 : creative expression of, and stemming from Bernard James Tarver
But who knows, maybe in another language it actually means something. Or maybe they read my original blog and think it’s a real word. Wouldn’t that be funny?
Divine Wisdom
Sometimes things just fall into your lap.
I opened an email this morning from the Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, in Lenox, Massachusetts. Back in 1997, a good friend noticed that I seemed to be just kind of sleepwalking through life, not motivated to go after anything and not accomplishing anything significant either. She gave me a gift of a weekend retreat there that really changed my life and forced me to confront some things I had long been avoiding. Now, I still have issues, but at least I’m more aware and open to working on them.
But this email contained a very insightful article on love and relationships. It is completely in synch with ideas that had been roaming around in my mind. With St. Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I thought it might benefit a lot of folks to read this, regardless of your relationship status.
The Yoga of Relationships
by Kate and Joel FeldmanWhether we’re young, old, or somewhere in between, loving relationships take center stage in the theater of our lives. Ultimately, money, career, or achievements matter little compared to the love we invite into our lives and let unfold over time. We all yearn to have love in our lives and enjoy the magic, pleasures, and growth of loving another person. And it’s not just in our minds: Studies show that people in satisfying long-term relationships have stronger immune systems and are better able to tackle life’s ups and downs.
Yet, the path to relational oneness seems strewn with land mines. The initial stages of love can be so effortless, overpowering, and magical, we cannot imagine it will ever come to an end. But no matter how deep and intense the love, all relationships—whether they are romantic, family, or friendship relations—sooner or later face the same reality. As the newness wanes, the day-to-day realities of coexisting together become increasingly difficult to ignore. And this, inevitably, is where the real work begins.
Dealing with Differences
We all feel that our relationship issues are unique, but in reality we face remarkably similar challenges. They tend to center around disagreements about money, kids, sex, housework, in-laws, or leisure time. Couples who stay together happily for the long haul don’t disagree about these issues any less than couples who split up. The difference is in how they handle their differences and how they use skills to build long-term happiness and satisfaction. Many couples avoid conflict because they are afraid it will lead to divorce, but, paradoxically, the number one predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict. Successful couples understand that conflict is natural and learn to build mutual trust, which enables them to work through disagreements.
Many of the couples we work with complain, “If this is true love, why do we have to work so hard at it?” This is kind of like saying, “Why do I have to work so hard at mastering asanas or pranayama? Can’t I just sit on my yoga mat every morning?”
What would happen if we did not dedicate time, attention, and effort to our yoga practice? Nothing. Relationships are no different. In the same way that yoga requires knowledge and skills for the mastery of practice, relationships require relational skills in order for them to grow and unfold over time.
Developing Skills
Successful partnerships are those in which both people care as much about the world of the other as they do about their own. This means working with your own individual self-reflection and growth and getting to a point where you can be a whole, separate person while simultaneously being deeply connected to those you love. It means learning and using relational skills that you intentionally build into your daily interactions: taking time to listen to and learn about who your partner is; learning how to make agreements; learning how to set boundaries; learning how to use skillful language when you are speaking; and being able to identify your feelings and speak them without losing your temper or perspective. And it means consciously caring for and cultivating your relationship (i.e., creating rituals, celebrations, and traditions that you and your partner share together).
Relationships ask us to live mindfully and to practice steadfastness, humility, truthfulness, contentment, and nonviolence (i.e., to never hurt anyone in word or deed). If you are familiar with the philosophy of yoga, you will recognize these as very similar to the yamas and niyamas, the ancient ethical prescriptions said to govern human growth and spiritual unfoldment.
The Goal Is Union
When we learn to treat others with relational skillfulness, we are practicing yoga. The ultimate goal of yoga is union—with the divine essence in ourselves and in the world around us. Like a wave in the great ocean of existence, other human beings have the capacity to melt our sense of separateness so that we experience oneness with everything and everyone. This is the true essence of yoga. Learning to see the divine essence in another human being, even when our human reactions, idiosyncrasies, and differences are staring us hard in the face, is the practice of the yoga of relationships. Relationship awareness and practices will gift you with the deepest experience of loving—connecting with another person at the soul level.
We have seen over and over again that when two people want to love and be loved, and when they are willing to grow and change, something mighty emerges. Both individuals grow and become more of who they uniquely are. The partnership provides support, comfort, intimacy, teamwork, and abundance. By developing the yoga of relationships, we can contribute our share to create greater harmony in our families, communities, and nations, and in our global family.
Nourishing Your Relationship
Couples who regularly nourish and feed their relationship as if it were a living being, create more aliveness and energy between them and find themselves more satisfied in their life together over the long term. Here are some specific suggestions for how to nourish your relationships, romantic or otherwise:
Quality time. Create regular, scheduled time for connection, dialogue, fun, intimacy, or even working through conflicts.
Intentional fun and pleasure. Studies show that couples that have five times more pleasure than pain (or comfort versus discomfort) in their everyday interactions feel deeply fulfilled in their relationship.
Appreciation, gratitude, and acknowledgment. Find ways to express these sentiments daily to your partner. Look for the good stuff. It’s always there.
Rituals of attunement, giving, and receiving. Find out what says “I love you” to your partner. Create acts of loving for at least one separation or reunion time during the day.
Shared sexual/sensual/romantic expression. Your relationship needs and wants physical and emotional intimacy. Discover mutually pleasurable ways of nourishing your senses, bodies, and hearts. If this is difficult, find ways to ease into it, beginning with dialogue. Get some help if you need it.
Celebration of life passages. Birthdays, anniversaries, and life-cycle changes are wonderful times to create “out of the box” celebrations. Your relationship deserves to be acknowledged. Make up your own form of celebration or use tried-and-true formats from your cultural and family traditions.
Values clarification, visioning, and goal setting. Set aside time every year to step back and look at your life and relationship. Think about what you want, where you want to go, and what’s important to you. Review where you are and how you got there. Set some future goals based on your shared vision. Write them down and post them for inspiration and guidance.
Joel and Kate Feldman were founding members of Kripalu and lived and served in the Kripalu community for 25 years. Now living in Durango, Colorado, they are therapists and workshop presenters specializing in intimate relationships. They can be reached through their website.